Mid-Year Crisis

One more day and I'll be done with my mid-year crisis.
I am still doubtful on whether I heard correctly from God regarding the decision to study this year. I guess it is only fair to me that I have a second thought about it, considering the hardship I've been put through this year. Nevertheless, I am reminded of God's faithfulness and that He will see me through it all. There!!! See!! I am at the end of tunnel 1 liao mah..
I believe my future will be different because of these 4 modules that I have gone through for the past 4 months. Just like KPE, you move from one part of Singapore to another in an express manner. Similarly, this course will escalate my future work prospect. Believe it or not!!
Anyway, it seems that people around me are in the "heart-ache" stage these few days. This stirs my thought of entering into a relationship. So what is it that caused people to feel the ache? Is it because they love the person so much that they are not willing to let them go? Or is it because they have love them to an extent greater than they cherish themselves? I wonder?
Or is it my self-defence mechanism at work? Maybe I have protected myself "too well"? Each time I receive a hurt; just like a callus formed on a piece of skin, I thickened my defences against others. I've learnt to cherish myself as much as I cherish others. Is this wrong? The bible speaks about "Love thy neighbours as you love yourself" How can you love your neighbours well enough when you can't even love yourself? To sum this: I love you because Christ that is in me compels me to. And please don't expect me to love you more than Christ do.